Words couldn’t even express the way I was feeling. Never in my wildest dreams did I think that the man I was falling in love with, my best friend was falling in love with as well. I thought I would faint when Uniyah opened the door at the hospital and I walked towards the bed and, who I thought was the love of my life, laid before me unconscious. I never imagined that I would feel so betrayed or feel the pain that came from a broken heart again.

He was supposed to be the one that ended my heartaches and lonely nights. He was supposed to be the one I could build a future with. Even though I never truly believed that was possible, he gave me reason to hope. I couldn’t believe I could be so gullible. I wondered at times what I’d done in my past to deserve this continuous Karma of heartache. All of my previous relationships had ended due to infidelity, deceit, or both, and it made me wonder if the problem somehow laid in me and not them.

I crawled into a corner of my bedroom with my knees pulled tight against my chest. I sat in the darkness as Mary J. serenaded me with her soulful voice. If anyone could relate to what it was that I was going through, it was definitely her. Tears ran from my eyes again and my heart was hurting so bad it was almost unbearable.

Part of me wanted to drown my sorrow with a bottle of liquor while another wanted to end all of my pain with a bottle of pills. I was full of hatred and, yet, still possessed love for him. I was always the one to tell people, “You just don’t fall out of love overnight. Falling in love with someone is a process and when things end abruptly, the feelings unfortunately don’t end as quickly. A person has to go through the process of falling out of love with a person, too.”